Dad has cancer...

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Dad has cancer...

by HollyDawse on Mon Feb 22, 2016 12:37 AM

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Hi guys, I'm new to all this and hoping it's ok to post the following, given that I'm now the one with the dreaded 'C'. I'm hoping for a little support as I'm struggling to get my head around the whole situation right now, so here goes .... 5 years ago my dad who was 57 at the time, was diagnosed with a tumour in his bowl, our world came crashing down. He had the rumour removed and had a course of chemo (tablet form) and radiotherapy. Thankfully it worked, and he got the all clear. Having regular scans he eventually went to having them yearly, and 18 months ago our now journey began. They confirmed they found 'C', this time not in his bowl but in the lymph nodes near his pelvis, apparently completely unrelated to the bowel cancer. They decided they would Keep an eye on it with regular scans and it wasn't very big. These scams continued 3 monthly up until October when they told him it had thickened. They didn't want to rush into anything and decided to scan him again in December (2015), once we had those results it confirmed it had thickened and grown more so they wanted to to an mri and pet scan for further clarification. Jan this year they confirmed they are unable to operate as its to close to his spine and too dangerous, so chemo it was. He'd started to show symptoms of this horrendous deseace after previously being so well. So now it starts, he went in on Thursday to have a pic line fitted and starts his 1st chemo session on Wednesday. He's having 3 types of chemo for 6 months, every other week with 1 day in hospital and 2 days administered at home through a bottle. I think the initial shock 18 months ago slowly faded and now realisation has hit home and I'm really struggling to get my head around it. I've got an amazing mum who's support is the best, a fantastic husband and 10 yr old son, but I feel so alone? I know it's not about be, Lord I know, my poor dad is the one that's suffering, and his attitude is humbling, but I'm really struggling, I'm sick of people saying you have to be positive and stay strong, but that's the complete opposite of how I feel, my dad the man I love so dearly has a life shattering deseace that I've witnessed 1st hand taking people's lives, I can't find it in me to be positive at the moment. We don't know what the future holds, and can only pray and have hope for the best outcome, just wondered if anyone else feels the way I do? xx
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